Saturday, February 18, 2012

Breaking Dawn Part 1 Twilight Saga 2012 rev

Breaking Dawn Part 1 Twilight Saga 2012 rev
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Rated: PG-13
Genre: Teen fantasy, romance, bollocks, rubbish, crap
Running Time: 1 Hour 49 Minutes
Director: Bill Condon
Cast: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner
Synopsis: "The Quileute and the Volturi close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses different threats to the wolf pack and vampire coven" (Nusantara Edaran Films).

Verdict: The much anticipated so-called "wedding of the year" is not as dreamy as the teenage girls could imagine from reading. Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is not only the worst of the film franchise, but its fan-servicing fails miserably as well. It starts off extremely boring before becoming a joke. I believe even the fans of the franchise wouldn't be pleased too. They should've retained the director of the first installment, Catherine Hardwicke. At least with her, it could be maintained as bad instead of worsening. Ah, doesn't matter 'cause the girls are gonna love the movie anyway as long as the actors still look good to them.

Funniest scene: The whole cinema laughed at this one. [SPOILER BEGINS HERE] Bella (Kristen Steward) drinks a cup of donated human blood from a straw [SPOILER ENDS HERE].

Corniest scene: [SPOILER BEGINS HERE] The whole meeting between the werewolves until Jacob (Taylor Lautner) goes back to have a mutual agreement with Edward (Robert Pattinson). "I am the grandson of Ephraim Black. I don't take orders from no one!" "They're not gonna touch her." "Agreed." Let's join forces! *Nods at each other* We're Power Rangers! [SPOILER ENDS HERE]

Post-credit scene: Something to do with the Volturi. Nothing funny so ain't worth waiting for.

To team emo powder face/ necrophilia: Humans protect animal rights while the Cullens protect human rights. What a way to go. Vegetarians are so cute. Anyway, congrats, Edward Cullen finally lost his virginity after living over a hundred years. Too bad he had to lose it to his food and not to mention marrying it before getting it conceived. Is it just me or does his face look very off in the movie?

To team six-pack shorty/ bestiality: Finally Jacob Black's paedophile-ness is revealed! "It's like gravity..." Boy, that scene made the whole cinema burst out laughing. Who's your daddy(-in-law) now, huh?

Still team Alice? No more. Ashley Green doesn't seem as hot as in the previous installments here. Probably 'cause she lost value after the leak of her nude photo.

Why did I watch it? 'Cause I knew it'd be a laughing-stock and new jokes can be made out of it. And besides, it was free of charge.

Malaysian censorship: As far as the fans are concerned, the two of the key scenes are completely cut. *Cough*sex*and*cough*delivery*scene*cough.



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